How to fight in a relationship

Lesson Two: How to Fight in a Relationship
Let's break that idea down~ How can you fight with your partner in a healthy way? When is it worth the trouble?

Well, the answer to this is a little complicated, and it will involve taking another look at the fight and the results expected. Remember the point of a fight is not to change you partner's mind about an issue, (that may never happen) but merely find common ground for two people who disagree. Let's start with nine tips how to fight in a more healthy manner.

9. Never yell. I know we've all heard it before, and its pretty hard to do, because you're fighting. But never the less, yelling is proven to make people more agitated and less receptive.

8. Don't guilt trip. Rehashing our partner's earlier wrong doings decreases our partner's esteem, and has a tendency to cause only a negative reaction in them.

7. No setups. Don't make verbal traps for your partner to get stuck in, just because you see invalidity in their argument. It may be secretly funny to engage in these types of maneuvers, but they don't help the overall mission. Also, if your partner catches it, you run the risk of making them feel like you're patronizing them.

6. Keep it adult. We are all adults here, let's not get too petty with name calling or useless swearing.

5. Stop crying. Tearing up to get your way, just isn't fair. Many of you ladies (and even some of you guys ;)) know exactly what I'm talking about. Crying can be like Kryptonite, weakening your partner to a point of submission without as much as a rational thought as to what they are agreeing to. To pry on the weakness of another doesn't empower anyone.

4. Ask to be heard. It may be hard to believe, but sometimes you actually have to ask to be heard in an argument. If you feel your partner is zoning out, or only focusing their perspective, ask for them to really listen to you. This may seem pointless but it is one of the most effective techniques listed, use it.

3. Analogies are awesome. Try to word your argument another way including other people, places, or things that your partner may relate to more than your argument. If he likes baseball, use that, she likes reality TV, use it, but make it meaningful and as synonymous to the actual argument as possible.

2. Keep it between the two of you. It may be really tempting to go get advise from a friend or family member, but for most arguments its a useless technique and sometimes can make your partner feel like you betrayed their trust.

1. Just stop and think about it. Sometimes after you walk away, and give yourself space and time to envision you partner's stand point, you overcome your own personal wall of disbelief. Then, before you know it, you have reached an understanding.

So when is it all worth the trouble? The answer to that is use discretion depending on you're fighting for. Two fight worthy examples are: making sure you both understand exactly what cheating is, or if its time to take the next step in your relationship. The point is try to keep the issues big. The small discrepancies will be many over time and sometimes pretty frequent in occurrence, so let them slide. Choose your battles wisely.

One notable battle worth mentioning. A husband and wife duo fight breast cancer together.